Your toddler's declaration of independence

​Some parents would argue that toddlerhood is the ultimate test of patience. Whether it’s defusing a potentially volatile temper tantrum or enduring a bout of unrelenting defiance, this developmental phase can be physically and emotionally taxing. However, it’s important for parents to remember that beneath their child’s seemingly rebellious exterior is someone in the throes of self-discovery, eagerly trying to establish independence and an identity of their own.

The transition from dependence to independence, though gradual, is a developmental milestone worth celebrating. And to ensure this paramount shift progresses in a healthy and somewhat seamless fashion, parents ought to consider a couple of things.

First, lead by example. Children, especially toddlers, have an incredible knack for mimicry. Your ability to handle situations, particularly stressful ones, can influence how your child will cope under similar circumstances. In the same vein, a parent’s ability to model fundamental communication skills (tone, eye contact, and listening) can have a profound impact on their child’s ability to communicate openly and honestly when articulating their thoughts, feelings, and emotions – a skill that will undoubtedly benefit them throughout adulthood. 

Next, encourage your child to make simple choices each day. Providing them with choices is empowering and an exemplary way to build self-esteem and problem solving skills. One way to introduce the concept of decision-making to your child is by allowing them to choose an outfit to wear each morning, writes Dr. Brett R. Kuhn, author of The Toddler Owner's Manual: Operating Instructions, Troubleshooting Tips, and Advice on System Maintenance.  

“As your toddler’s interest in self-dressing grows, her interest in what she wears will increase. If you are uncomfortable allowing your [child] to wear whatever she chooses, offer her two choices of clothing,” suggests Dr. Kuhn. “Many toddlers in search of independence will appreciate the 'control' they are offered when given a choice, and you can be sure that the choice she makes from those you’ve offered will be appropriate for the weather and occasion.”

Tips for helping your toddler get dressed

1. Give your child enough time to get dressed. To speed things up, you can always let your child pick out an outfit the night before.
2. While your child is getting dressed, provide them with praise and positive reinforcement​​.
3. Shirts or sweaters with logos on the front tend to help children avoid putting them on backwards. This, too, will speed things up.
4. If your child is toilet training​​, dress them in loose-fitting pants (preferably with an elastic waist). This can prevent accidents from happening.

​Joel Tiller

Writer/Editor

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